Obama's Rashomon speech
by George Jonas
National Post
January 30, 2010
The host switches off the TV. We've been watching Barack Obama deliver his first State of the Union address. A Dane and an Israeli guest stay behind for the post-mortem.
The Dane thinks Obama is the cat's meow. I think he's something the cat dragged in. I don't know what the Israeli thinks.
Our host is a Canadian. He's too well mannered for thinking.
"Did he say anything about the Middle East?"
"Not unless he did during the few seconds I dozed off," I reply cautiously. "He spoke briefly about Iraq. 'Make no mistake about it, I'm pulling out.' Or words to that effect. And he may have said 'or else' to Iran."
The host pours an inch of Scotch in a glass, neat. He looks puzzled. "Obama really didn't say much," he offers, "for a guy who spoke for about 70 minutes."
"Seventy-five, but who is counting," says the Dane. "He may have said next to nothing, but God, he said it well. He looked good saying it, too."
This gets me going. I pull out all the stops. "If you can look good saying what President Obama said," I say, "you can look good saying anything.
"If you can say, okay, 10% of the workforce is unemployed, the country a few trillion dollars in the hole, but hey, that happened before I walked in the door, I only added a trillion or so to the mess, I had no choice -- if you can say that and keep looking good, you've got it made.
"And if you can look good saying, look Ma' no hands, I'm fixing it as fast as I can, I'm taxing everything that begins with 'B' -- big bonuses, big banks, big businesses, taking billions from big bastards and giving them as tax credits to eensy-weensy small businesses if they create jobs, because I sure as hell don't know how else to create them, except the infrastructure, I'll build roads and stuff; and oh yeah, I will cut some government programs, not yet, but in 2011, when I'm pulling out of Iraq, win or lose -- and if you can look good saying that, you've got it made.
"And if you can look good saying, well, the world may be going to the dogs, but if America never does anything else, when I'm finished with the military, every gay and lesbian will feel at home in uniform; and I won't quit until we've renewable energy, whether there's global warming or not; and if we starve to death we will do so with our health fully insured -- well, if you can say this and have people pop up and down to applaud until you become concerned about the older folks' titanium hips, while behind you blessed Joe Biden lends new meaning to the word yes-man as he keeps bobbing his head like a horse feeding from a nosebag, and everyone in the chamber becomes an extra from a Leni Riefenstahl set, filming a remake of Triumph of the Will -- well, if you can do that and look good, you don't have to say much."
Our host absorbs this. "So, is Obama moving to the middle? Is that what you're saying?"
I didn't think I was saying that, but the Dane seems to. "Yes, is he pulling a Clinton?" he asks. "Even a Tony Blair, perhaps?"
I stop them before they get to Bob Rae. I guess everyone hears what they want to hear. After a year in the White House, is the Reverend Jeremiah Wright's former parishioner coming to the conclusion that all votes are in the middle? Frankly, I doubt it.
"Let's get back to the Middle East," our host suggests. "Is Obama good for the Jews?"
"No," comes my prompt reply. The Israeli says nothing.
"Is he good for the Palestinians, the Muslims?"
"He'll try to be. They won't let him," I say.
"Europeans will," says the Dane. "Obama is welcome to be good for us any time he likes."
We all look at the Israeli. "Those aren't the important questions," he says.
"What is?"
"Is he good for the Americans?" asks the Israeli.